Here are some quotes that I really like:
Bureaucracy gives birth to itself and then expects maternity benefits.
Dale Dauten
Bureaucracy, the rule of no one, has become the modern form of despotism.
Mary McCarthy
If you are going to sin, sin against God, not the bureaucracy. God will forgive you, but the bureaucracy won't.
Hyman Rickover
Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy.
Franz Kafka
Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies.
Honore de Balzac
Go here for more quotes.
Clemson University was my first real exposure to the inherent evils of bureaucracy. It came in the form of the ubiquitous ticket police. We affectionately called them Ticket Witches. Some enterprising student even went so far as to make t-shirts with a picture of the ticket witch riding a broom.
The rest of the University machine lumbered along like a bloated, overfed, underworked pack mule, doing just enough to escape a beating. Not so the intrepid Ticket Witch. She maneuvered her little three-wheeled TW golf carts all over campus, looking for some poor, unsuspecting student who had violated the sacrosanct parking laws. The witches seemed to have an innate sense for timing, almost relishing in the idea of writing a ticket as close to one minute over the allotted time as possible. I can imagine their coven gatherings now.
"Brumhilda! You nasty little witch! What do you think you're doing? That last car was sitting, UNTICKETED, for five whole minutes!! Keep this up, and you'll be stamping rejection letters in the President's office."
They finally broke me one night. It was late on a Sunday night, and I had to go to the computer lab to start/finish a paper for English. This is back when they had things like computer labs. Of course there were no parking spaces available, except...Except that whole football field-sized area of handicap spaces, tucked between two buildings, where nobody could see me parking. I am not one to take a handicap space, but give me a break. There were at least 20 spots, and not one of them taken. It was 10PM on a Sunday night, and all three of the wheelchair bound students on campus were accounted for. What is the problem with taking just one teensy-weensy little space for a few minutes, while I complete my educational requirements?
"I'll get you, my pretty!"
Stupid witch. The only car in the whole stupid parking lot got the only stupid ticket. Forty-five dollars later, I finished my stupid English paper. As a form of silent protest, I waited two weeks to pay the stupid ticket, which meant that the stupid fine got doubled. That is the price of freedom.
I now know the origin of these Ticket Witches. They started in Spain. Brujas de Multa. Even the name sounds sinister.
My first experience came several years ago in Toledo, the oldest city in Spain, which means they have the most seasoned brujas in Spain. That place is on lockdown. Susan and I were tooling through the city, looking for a parking space, so we could check out the main plaza. Toledo is a beautiful city, brujas notwithstanding. I finally found a spot, and lucky for us, it was right at the plaza. All the other drivers missed it, because it was right beside a handicap parking spot. Evidently they had been burned in college as well. I whipped in the space and caught up with Susan, whom I had deposited at the plaza. We were gone exactly 15 minutes.
As we returned to the space, I noticed a tow truck pulling away from the area. These are not very common, so it caught my eye. I then noticed a car on the back of the tow truck that was eerily similar to mine. Naturally my gaze drifted toward my parking space, to see if this car was the same color. Well it was. I took off on a mad dash to try and catch the tow truck, but to no avail.
Toledo was the first capital of Spain, chiefly because it occupied the high ground. Parking Violators Prison was at the bottom of a very long hill. Susan and I schlepped all the way down the Hill of Hell, where we had to pay the $200 fine for parking in a handicapped space. They don't mark their handicap spaces the way we do. It is every space from "this sign" over. Stupid Spanish signs.
I tried to get Susan to negotiate with the head witch, but to no avail. Pay up or walk. As a form of silent protest, I vowed to eat at a restaurant that would cost at least as much as the ticket. I showed them. That is the price of freedom.
We ended up meeting a nice couple and walking around the city for several hours together, so it all worked out.
Recently Susan and I have been attending free Spanish classes in Murcia. Free, that is, except for the parking tickets I am gathering like flies to a turd. I am going to start wearing a garlic necklace to hopefully ward off the witches. I will not be cowed by their malicious desire to stamp out freedom.
I am William Wallace. I will prevail!
Freedom!!!!
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