What I love/hate about Ikea

3 October, 13

I am about to commit blasphemy. At least in the eyes of my wife and children. Who said writing was for sissies? Ikea is a Swedish company, and my wife is 50% Swedish, so I really must tread lightly here.

We have made several sorties to Ikea, which is only about 15 minutes away. In America, Ikea is an increasingly popular brand, but in Europe, it is the giant killer. EVERYTHING in our house finds its origin in a shelf or a bin at Ikea.

To date, we have purchased 6 mattresses, a sofa, light fixtures, cooking utensils and a cordless drill. Already in the house were cups, bowls, plates, silverware, pictures and myriad other things--all from Ikea.

I LOVE Ikea, because you can get everything you want there, sort of like Wal-Mart, with a little panache. The ubiquity of the place is definitely an attraction to me.

Therein lies the rub.

I HATE Ikea, because you can get everything you want there, sort of like Wal-Mart. Who wants to go to Wal-Mart? Give me my local vendors! Save the small guy! Death to the BIG BOX! What is worse, the fact that they have EVERYTHING makes you want to look at EVERYTHING, just in case you need it, or want it, or might need it, or might want it, or "Could we use this somewhere? It has a really cool Swedish name.  Let's get it and find out what it is later." Nothing says home like an Ektorp.

I LOVE Ikea, because they serve real food in their stores. I ate a huge slab of pork shoulder that was so good it would make you slap your mama. With a side of fries and a cold beer. The girls ate their standard fare: Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes and lingonberry sauce. You won't find THAT at Wal-Mart.

I HATE Ikea, because it is so big, they need their own restaurant. I realized the other day that it took longer for me to walk from one end of Ikea to the other, both floors, without stopping, than it does for me to walk the length of La Alberca. Ikea is bigger than L.A., and on Saturdays probably has a higher population. They even have arrows to keep the cattle moving in the right direction. Follow me to the slaughterhouse. Wolf was a little nervous at first, but he found ways to cut in and out of the line.

I LOVE Ikea,  because it reminds us of home. That's right. We feel nostalgic about Ikea. The Charlotte, NC store is just like the one in Murcia. It felt good to be in something American, even though it is Swedish. I know, weird, right?

I HATE Ikea, because it reminds us of home. Not the warm fuzzy home, but the cold consumerism home. Our culture is predicated on buying more stuff. We just emptied our house in North Carolina a couple of months ago. Literally tens of thousands of dollars of stuff that we never needed had accumulated over 15 years like so much flotsam at the beach. The last thing I want to do here is fall back into a pattern of buying things.

I crave simplicity. I desire singularity. I want peace. But an Ektorp would look really nice over there...