Parent/Teacher Conferences

4 October, 13

As a kid, I dreaded Parent/Teacher Conferences. It was that time of year when I could be outed as a ill-behaving miscreant. The other time was the comment section of report cards. "Little Dan is a pleasure to work with in the classroom, bless his heart. He needs to focus in class and try to keep his hands to himself. If you see a sacapunta laying around, please return it to school, so all the other kids can have sharp pencils."

As a parent, I dread them for the same reason, but in the opposite direction. I don't want to hear how my precious little angels have been terrorizing their classmates. I don't want to know they are struggling in school. All I want to hear is how pleasant and smart they are and how they are basically living out the Boy Scout laws:

Trustworthy
Loyal
Helpful
Friendly
Courteous
Kind
Obedient
Cheerful
Thrifty
Brave
Clean
Reverent

I might have left a couple out, but I quit Boy Scouts before I made it to Eagle, so what do you expect?

So it was with great fear and trepidation that Susan and I headed into our first Parent/Teacher Conferences here in Spain.

The first hurdle was that they were in Spanish. Foreigners. You would think everybody would speak English here. I mean, come on! It's 2,000 freaking 13 already.

Honestly, we were expecting the teachers to say something along the lines of, "What were you thinking? Get these kids out of here!" What we got was, "Y'all are brave (their word was valiente)!  How can we help?" Man, that was a cup of cold water to a guy in the desert. In an institutional environment, it is sometimes easy to slip into "I don't care" mode. We all get there sometimes. These teachers, though, are gung-ho. They are willing to translate tests for the girls. They have allowed Elizabeth to carry a Samsung Tablet around, so she can use Google Translate and other tools. They are going to email us homework assignments. All our girls have to do is show up and work.

That is exactly what they have been doing, too. Katherine was counting to us in French the other day. Earth to us! We are in Spain, and Katherine is learning French. Elizabeth is texting her friends in Spainglish. We are struggling with math word problems, however. Google Translate is not always perfect. See for yourself:

Spanish
Gasto 1/10 de lo que tengo ahorrado en mi hucha; después, ingreso 1/15 de lo que me queda y aún me faltan 36€ para volver a tener la cantidad inicial. Cuál es el precio actual?

English
Spending 1/10 of what I have saved in my piggy bank, then income 1/15 of what I have left and I still have € 36 to regain the initial amount. What is the current price?

Even after we figured out what the problem was really saying, we still couldn't answer it. I called Kirk, and he did it in his head, while he was driving. Jerk.

So the next time you have a parent/teacher conference, whichever side you might be on, remember that at least you are both speaking English, even if you aren't speaking the same language.