If You're Skeered, Say So

1 April, 2014

Without trying to be antagonistic or patronizing, I believe that the USA has shifted considerably in the last two or three decades. I don't pretend to know why, nor do I have any answers. I am just making anecdotal observations from afar.

Let's take a look at the year 1980:

• Ronald Reagan was President.
• The enemy was the U.S.S.R.
• Cartoons were on Saturday mornings.
• Space Shuttle Columbia was preparing for an April 12, 1981 liftoff.
• We were between Rocky II and Rocky III.
  
• Nobody locked their doors.

How about the 90's?

I remember coming home from college one weekend and standing, bewildered, at the back door of my home. The door was locked, and I didn't know what to do. I had never encountered a locked door at my house in my entire life. The year was 1992. I knew Linda and Louis would be home, so I went to their house and ate dinner, while waiting for my parents to return home. Something was changing in my world.

The 2000's?

Susan and I finished building our house in 1997. Her family lived in a gated community, behind locked doors, safeguarded by an alarm system. Susan would attach the "Club" to her steering wheel when pumping gas.

We needed to reach a detente about the front door. Our compromise was that the door would remain locked at all times, but I was free to tell everyone that the key was ingeniously hidden under the ceramic rabbit right beside the door. Every night before I went to sleep, I would check all the doors in the house and close the garage for the night. We lived in Pinehurst, North Carolina, home of golf retirees and Special Forces soldiers.  Why did I need to lock the doors?

Now?

Everybody in my family back in South Carolina and most of my friends in Pinehurst, NC tote at least one weapon at all times. Don't get me wrong. Where I come from, gun control means you have a steady hand. I believe in the right to bear arms, and to use them, if needed. What disturbs me, however, is the culture of fear that seems to be permeating our society. We always believed in the right, but never thought we would need to exercise it. Somehow a boogieman has arisen among us, and we no longer feel safe at night, or really at any time, even when surreptitiously toting a .45 through Wal-Mart. 

I didn't realize how pervasive this attitude was, until I moved to Spain. I was shocked that good Spanish parents allowed their sons and daughters to roam the streets without a guardian. I was nonplussed to find out that nobody coordinated play dates, where parents could watch over their little ones. I was disabused to find no hand sanitizer and that they drank water straight from the hose.

Then I realized that this is exactly how I grew up. My parents did not have one clue regarding my whereabouts, until I slinked back home. The entire town of Hartsville, South Carolina was at my disposal. I could pedal or drive anywhere I dang well pleased, and I was not alone in this privilege. It was normal. What happened?

Statistically, nothing has happened. If anything, Hartsville is a safer city, overall, than a decade ago. To be sure, there are pockets of danger, as is the case with every town or city. If you go looking for trouble, you are sure to find it. The change, in my opinion, is occurring in our minds and in our perceptions of risk. We are scared.

Somehow, we are changing from a nation of achievers and risk-takers to a nation of nonstarters and milquetoasts. We would rather watch other people try something, experiencing a rich, fulfilling virtual life. Red Bull has capitalized on this obsession by promoting death-defying sports. Their athletes have become modern day gladiators.

We cheer whether they succeed or fail, reveling equally in their glory or demise. Perhaps we are following the way of other great civilizations, falling into decay and debauchery. In our case, however, we seem to be traveling at incredible speeds.

I don't know what to do with this. Perhaps I am seeing what is not there, but I don't think so. I am no bastion of virtue, to be sure. I love the Red Bull sports and I am inclined to partake in debauchery at certain levels as well, depending on your definition, so please don't blow up my inbox with invective.

Many people thought we were crazy for moving to Spain. The risks were too great for minimal and questionable rewards. Perhaps. Or maybe we are just vestiges from another generation, looking more and more antiquated by the day.